Kindness gives birth to kindness…

Three weeks. It’s been three weeks since I returned home from Haiti. And it’s as if I was there yesterday. I have a hard time taking part in a conversation without using the words, ‘When I was in Haiti…’ I would apologize to those closest to me but since they are closest to me they have a slight understanding of where my head is at. Or rather… my heart.

I’ve had a hard time when people give me praise for going to Haiti. Or for being a nurse and doing my job. It makes me uncomfortable because truly, I don’t do it for the praise. It’s just who I am. My parents and siblings all ended up being leaders in their churches and I have often been asked why I didn’t ‘follow’ in the ministry. So silly… I don’t have to stand behind a pulpit to minister to someone, to breathe life and love into them. And quite honestly, I think I can do it better without the pulpit; it’s easier to give a hug, or a place hand on someone’s hand, or be a shoulder to cry on…

So I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. Because I’ve been trying to find a word that one qualifying word that expresses me, or who I strive to be.  Kindness, the dictionary definition, is the quality of being warmhearted, considerate and sympathetic to humanity. That’s exactly what I want my life to reflect! Don’t get me wrong… I’ve fallen short of this many, many times. Countless really…

Take the other day for example. I was driving to work and got stuck in the construction that is right across the road from the hospital. I was so close! But there I sat, waiting… And then I see this car trying to inch it’s way in front of mine and I know full well that if I let it in that it’s going to be that one car that keeps me sitting through the next set of lights changing from yellow to red to green. In an effort to show kindness I did the wave gesture and spoke into the air, “By all means” and let him go ahead of me. Then I waited… and waited… and guess what? NO THANK YOU WAVE! Ah the nerve! Come on… you know exactly what I am talking about… the courtesy wave that you get from the driver in front of you. I went out of my way to let that person in, knowing full well it would mean I’d be sitting longer waiting to get to work and no wave?!  Rude.

But then… as I sat there in my car thinking about what had just transpired all I could think about was why did I even let the car go ahead in the first place? I assure you, at the time I just knew it would be a random act of kindness. Imagine the guilt I felt when I realized how I’d just belittled my own gesture by wanting something in return – even if it was only a little wave. Isn’t the root of kindness to do something that we know another won’t be able to repay and instead hope they pay forward?

Last week at work we had a pretty slack group of patients… they were beyond stable. We term them, ‘Walkie-talkies.’ And my patient was one of them. It was a beautiful evening and the sun was still shining so I loaded him into his wheelchair and away we went outside to the garden. He had overheard me speaking with one of the other nurses about Haiti so he started to question me. I shared with him some of my experiences and he listened quite intently. At one point he said, ‘You must be an angel’  Ack! Again with the discomfort! I understand what he is trying to say and on some level it is somewhat flattering, but it’s just too much.  I tried to explain my motives for going were to be ‘warmhearted and sympathetic to humanity’.  He asked what he could do to help me for my next trip and I said there was nothing I could take from him. He pulled his wheelchair over to where I sat and stood beside me and asked me to stand up… and then he gave me a big hug and said that although he knew he would never go to Haiti that he would practice being kind. What more could I ask for?

I guess that’s my challenge to you… and even to me. Let’s practice being kind. Practice being the operative word (since I’ve got the dictionary out, practice means to do or perform habitually or repeatedly, to make a habit of in order to perfect a skill).  Because I would rather make many attempts at genuine kindness than make none at all.

Would love to hear about your random acts of kindness… let’s inspire each other!

One Love,

Stace